Giving Love 

by Dewaine Wakeman

Love has no real expectations, by definition- we give it freely without any alterior motives. Yet when it comes to reciprocity, we seldom get out of life exactly what we put into it. Its as though the creator himself knows the wisdom of our plight, understands our agony and loneliness, or our attempt to defend define and truly express love in all its granduer. Do we get back that which we seek so hard? or is love merely a learning experience for us mere mortals? an initiation into something more spiritually rewarding than finding what we "say" is love in someone else, or in one particuliar relationship.

I do believe in everlasting love, but not always in ever lasting relationships. You give that person your heart, your will, your time but they do not always love you reciprocally in the way that would appear unto itself to define love, a non-self evident love so to speak. So often the relationship, bends, it mends and sometimes even sadly.. it breaks.

And we tend to be so hard on ourselves. But that person was never truly the object of our affection. Too often they were a bi-product of love itself. Where it comes from and where it often goes or leads to no one can tell.

I truthfully find the true path to love to be a very lonely one. For those of us who are quite seriously on this path, it seems unfortunate to realize how little time there is to come up with a real love- a lasting love.

Perhaps love is futile; or perhaps it is just that we were meant to go through all the emotions, all the experiences of love- to give of our love, and to have the maturity to expect, that maybe we will not find the ultimate and ideal love in this lifetime (we could, but there is no such guarantee)

Maybe finding love in life, through good fortune, is what life is all about. Maybe the giving of that love, even over the recieving of love is far more important and realistically mature as the ultimate goal.

People come in and out of our love for a reason, it is in life's reasons that they were sent to us, despite the lonliness of the path they might take and part ways with us, a path which might grieve us, and have us feel very, very empty; but none the less a path which fulfills their purposes not solely our own.

Its hard to make love your life's mission, and to find that mission in one person. maybe we were meant to be alone at times too, for others, available for a while, in the spirit and goodness of that creative force, but none the less, never ever ultimately abiding with one person forever. It is a giving experience that is there to benefit all whom it effects, but it cannot be measured in effect or quality or even quantity- if it is truly unconditional love.

Today we have that person by our side, tomorrow, maybe not so much. But if we have found love by giving it away truly that time was not spent in vain, and truly we cannot say that we didn't "love" somebody at some time despite the outcome. Maybe we were too obsessed with ourselves.

Maybe there is another reason for living on this planet than finding the perfect partner for life.

But that doesn't mean in all sincerity that we should stop searching. Perhaps we will all search and give such wonderful and rewarding love until the day we die, that that alone will be enough to say we have lived our lives in the true spirit of the word.